LotsofLittlePieces Profile

Total Posts	Last Post	Last Seen	Joined
154	06/19/09 04:30:47	06/19/09 04:30:47	03/29/08

Visitors Now	Visitors Today	Most Visits	Total Visits
0	0	24 07/28/08	389

04/17/08

Yes, I do know what you mean. Why on God's green earth would ANYONE WANT to be percieved as we are. I can think of better things to pretend to be than seemingly stark raving mad!

I always say that I am crazy because it seems rather unbelievable. I do know that it is not an organic mental illness we have but it is a special way that we developed as very young children, a baby personally.

I spent so long wondering if I had really gone completely mad or maybe I had this out of control imagination but honostly it's really too wild and too painful to be something I made up. If that were the case then it would be high time to unmake it up!

I understand about not wanting to look like a flake to your employers or anyone else.

This may not sound nice...but this is how it happened to me.

I am turning 40 soon. Since I was in my early twenties I worked so hard to function, maintain, support myself and children while going to school.

The problem was that year after year the dissociation got worse and my life got more and more painful until a couple of years ago, after signing my children over to family that I was willing to allow myself to be crazy (or myself)

Point being that you have an opportunity now and support people and T. This is the time to sacrifice your pride and face the facts. I know....the facts are dirty and ugly and painful. Once you face them you will be fortunate enough to have enough of your life left to get your education, and I am certain that your experience with education, work and family will be a much better experience AFTER some serious treatment.

If I had the sense to face myself and get treatment at your age, I am certain I would have had a much better time with my family, I would most likely be able to hold a job now.

Instead I spent all those years suffering and struggling to do these things and still fail at my age.

You have nothing to lose by looking like a flake and a nut.

The DID is doing that to you and sticking around to appear a reliable, strong person is not going to slow down or change the DID. I really hoped I could make it so, but oh boy did it all go backwards.
Please forgive me if I sound too harsh. My adult life has been painful, I just really think you are fortunate to be able to do something now. When I was twenty five I never would have guessed in a hundred years that at forty I would be at my weakest and most unestablished point in life.
I was always strong. I knew that I could do anything I decided to do. I was smart, hard worker, best mom in the world. My children are my only success I suppose. I could not even imagine myself being weakened so much by my own mind.
For the first time in my life I have to surrender and admit that I cannot take care of myself, I am not capable of doing anything I decide and I can no longer go on without dealing with this DID. I literally hid from it all of my life. I was too strong to allow that to hold me down.
Ha!!!
I think that if I had support, people who understood and accepted DID I would have accepted the situation and dealt with it. Anyway, it would be great if you could do all you can now and hopefully get better before losing many more years to confusion.
I hope I have not made you feel worse. I just can't stress enough the importance of dealing with this now. School and work will be waiting for you when you come home and it will feel so good to get back to life AND be in a better place with your DID.
Your Friend,
I am Kerri,
I handle supporting myself, keeping a roof over the head
and keeping us safe from people. I also raised the kids and I will be so happy soon to be getting my oldest son to come back home to me.
Hope to hear from you soon.

04/18/08

Reply from LotsofLittlePieces:

Dearest Kerri, Yes, I agree - if only there was a way to unmake it up! I don't take your comments harshly at all - in fact, I find them to be affirming and comforting. I am so sorry that it took until now for you to have the opportunity to deal with your DID; but I do thanks you for sharing your wisdom with me. It is time for me to sacrifice my pride and face the truth... I must say though, and I hope you're not offended, that I disagree with your idea that you're failing at your age. Though things may not be ideal, or may be totally wretched, you are here and whole and supporting other people at that. So I beg to differ. If you were failing, I wouldn't be gaining comfort from your presence. I wouldn't be looking forward to messages. I wouldn't be learning from you. So give yourself the credit that you deserve in those regards. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. You've made me feel a bit more certain that perhaps I am doing the right thing.... I needed that. I hope that you know how special you are. Your friend, k

Comments about me

Shadowgirl114

19 Points

04/30/08

Thanks for the kind welcome :) I'm really glad to have found this place... obviously this is all very new to me. He hasn't even been diagnosed but... from my conversations with his alters (and their presence altogether!) among other factors, in my opinion I think he probably has DID. As neither of us really know what to do, it's nice to know I've got somewhere I can come to ask for help.

thanks again!

Original comment »
ANATORI

7 Points

04/22/08

yeah it sucks, I just want it bad but im so off that I don't know.. im just digging myself a hole.
windy1081

110 Points

04/21/08

Thankyou sweetie! You are fabulous too. I had to take a few days away to rest. I am back now though. I am happy today because I got a job. Only temp. but every little bit helps.
How are you?
Missing you. Happy to see your message today.
Kerri
Original comment »
windy1081

110 Points

04/18/08

Thankyou. I appreciate you as well. I don't have much to say now. Tryiing to find another job. Lost the last one because we fell apart at work and left.
I am glad that somebody knows. It's so hard.
Youre great
Kerri
Original comment »
windy1081

110 Points

04/17/08

Yes, I do know what you mean. Why on God's green earth would ANYONE WANT to be percieved as we are. I can think of better things to pretend to be than seemingly stark raving mad!

I always say that I am crazy because it seems rather unbelievable. I do know that it is not an organic mental illness we have but it is a special way that we developed as very young children, a baby personally.

I spent so long wondering if I had really gone completely mad or maybe I had this out of control imagination but honostly it's really too wild and too painful to be something I made up. If that were the case then it would be high time to unmake it up!

I understand about not wanting to look like a flake to your employers or anyone else.

This may not sound nice...but this is how it happened to me.

I am turning 40 soon. Since I was in my early twenties I worked so hard to function, maintain, support myself and children while going to school.

The problem was that year after year the dissociation got worse and my life got more and more painful until a couple of years ago, after signing my children over to family that I was willing to allow myself to be crazy (or myself)

Point being that you have an opportunity now and support people and T. This is the time to sacrifice your pride and face the facts. I know....the facts are dirty and ugly and painful. Once you face them you will be fortunate enough to have enough of your life left to get your education, and I am certain that your experience with education, work and family will be a much better experience AFTER some serious treatment.

If I had the sense to face myself and get treatment at your age, I am certain I would have had a much better time with my family, I would most likely be able to hold a job now.

Instead I spent all those years suffering and struggling to do these things and still fail at my age.

You have nothing to lose by looking like a flake and a nut.

The DID is doing that to you and sticking around to appear a reliable, strong person is not going to slow down or change the DID. I really hoped I could make it so, but oh boy did it all go backwards.
Please forgive me if I sound too harsh. My adult life has been painful, I just really think you are fortunate to be able to do something now. When I was twenty five I never would have guessed in a hundred years that at forty I would be at my weakest and most unestablished point in life.
I was always strong. I knew that I could do anything I decided to do. I was smart, hard worker, best mom in the world. My children are my only success I suppose. I could not even imagine myself being weakened so much by my own mind.
For the first time in my life I have to surrender and admit that I cannot take care of myself, I am not capable of doing anything I decide and I can no longer go on without dealing with this DID. I literally hid from it all of my life. I was too strong to allow that to hold me down.
Ha!!!
I think that if I had support, people who understood and accepted DID I would have accepted the situation and dealt with it. Anyway, it would be great if you could do all you can now and hopefully get better before losing many more years to confusion.
I hope I have not made you feel worse. I just can't stress enough the importance of dealing with this now. School and work will be waiting for you when you come home and it will feel so good to get back to life AND be in a better place with your DID.
Your Friend,
I am Kerri,
I handle supporting myself, keeping a roof over the head
and keeping us safe from people. I also raised the kids and I will be so happy soon to be getting my oldest son to come back home to me.
Hope to hear from you soon.

04/18/08

Reply from LotsofLittlePieces:
Dearest Kerri, Yes, I agree - if only there was a way to unmake it up! I don't take your comments harshly at all - in fact, I find them to be affirming and comforting. I am so sorry that it took until now for you to have the opportunity to deal with your DID; but I do thanks you for sharing your wisdom with me. It is time for me to sacrifice my pride and face the truth... I must say though, and I hope you're not offended, that I disagree with your idea that you're failing at your age. Though things may not be ideal, or may be totally wretched, you are here and whole and supporting other people at that. So I beg to differ. If you were failing, I wouldn't be gaining comfort from your presence. I wouldn't be looking forward to messages. I wouldn't be learning from you. So give yourself the credit that you deserve in those regards. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. You've made me feel a bit more certain that perhaps I am doing the right thing.... I needed that. I hope that you know how special you are. Your friend, k

Yuku free message boards

LotsofLittlePieces

People I look up to

Interesting facts about me

My recent posts

Comments about me

Reply from LotsofLittlePieces:

Example friends

LotsofLittlePieces has 35 friend(s)

My blog